


Beginning Changes

by Kieran (Ameenjouee)



Series: Character Studies [9]
Category: Free!
Genre: Character Study, Stars, references to the anime but no real spoilers I don't think?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 22:32:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16585511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameenjouee/pseuds/Kieran
Summary: Ikuya had always been obsessed with the stars.





	Beginning Changes

The sky, the stars, was always something that Ikuya had loved, ever since he was a child.

It was always constant - ever-moving, but constant still, existing even when the clouds came and blocked them from sight. 

And really, in a life where things changed and disappeared, never to return, at the drop of a pin, he really thought it had become something of a safety net.

What else could it be, after all, if it’s what he went to when he had a particularly rough day? 

It had always been like that - Natsuya had introduced him to it as kids, way back before they both isolated themselves from one another, and it had just continued to be a trend while they were living in America. 

Now that Ikuya was back in Japan, it served to reorient himself. Sure, the constellations were different on this side of the world, but they still existed, were still soothing. 

Plus, part of him still clung to that childish belief that stars linked into wishes - how many wishes had he wasted on falling stars in the last few years? How many of them had been answered? He’d long since lost count, if he were honest. 

Plus, if he were being honest, this was at least something he could share with anyone, if he wanted.

He’d shared it briefly with Hiyori, though he hadn’t pointed anything out or even said a word, mostly just content to share the companionship and comfortable silence, too lost in thought to respond to the occasional comments from his best friend with anything more than a quiet hum. 

Still, he’d long since begun tying his fondness for the stars to his relationships - hard to avoid when that was how said fondness started. 

Orion - the first constellation that Natsuya had ever pointed out to him when they were little kids, and likely the only one his older brother really knew how to find in the night sky in both Japan and America - was one that Ikuya had begun to associate with his brother, with the years of distance and uncertainty that left them both scrambling for solid ground now that they were trying to get past that awkward stage of restarting interaction outside of swimming and nightly meals.

Lynx - the first one he’d ever found on his own, on the first night where Hiyori joined him under the stars after swim practice - tied to his relief that he was no longer alone, even though most days he still felt like it. It was a glimmer of hope that faded too quickly and would randomly spark back to life suddenly enough to burn him if he wasn’t careful. 

Meteor showers were something he’d always relate to Haru now, memories of wishing to be more like the boy who’d become his hero - figuratively and literally. They were still devastatingly beautiful, leaving Ikuya feeling almost like he were drowning - not exactly a feeling he loved, but the fear never hit him, a cold determination filling its place. 

And now… well now the stars took on a new meaning. They listened when he couldn’t talk to people. No judgment, but no response either. 

It didn’t go against his isolation, but it made him feel less alone. 

Of course, he had never once expected to have a constellation tie to fighting with his best friend. 

His eyes had been trained on Cygnus when Hiyori approached him at the park, and really, he’d long since given up trying to soften his words against himself, even for his best friend’s sake. 

He would never be ordinary, sure, but he would always be isolated by his own actions if he couldn’t change. 

And Hiyori didn’t understand that as well as Ikuya wanted him to. 

Cygnus became tied to an exchange of harsh words that Ikuya wished he’d never said, and an inaudible apology, followed by his first true taste of isolation. 

The stars never truly changed, but Ikuya did. It didn’t surprise him until he looked back on it after he’d gotten his shit together a bit better and could bring himself to look back at the stars again. 

They’d served as a safeguard for long enough, now they were just going to have to serve as a new starting block for him. 


End file.
